I will be mistress of myself....

I've been dealing with a lot of frustration lately because of Lyme flare ups, some really bad and debilitating ones. In those moments sometimes I feel like I have no control, that I’m at the mercy of Lyme disease. It feels like I’m unable to fight or to keep going. My mind will try to tell me that I’m unable to change anything. Then I remember Jane Austen "I will be mistress of myself" and I realize that I do still have control, my control is in how I respond.

I can lie down and give up and lose even more years than I have already lost. Or I can figure out what I can do right now, where I am, with whatever I have at the time. Maybe I can't go for a walk today, but I can write a letter to encourage someone else who is struggling. Maybe I can't go look at a cool antique store today, but I can write a story sitting on my couch. Maybe I can't perform on stages like I used to, but I can write a new song, get better at piano or guitar or sing just because I love to do it. Maybe I can't play an instrument today because my hands are not working right, but I can plan in my head what I'm going to do the next good day I have.

It's not about what I can't do; it's about what I can. I can keep a positive attitude; I can practice kindness, compassion, empathy, and understanding. I can practice forgiveness. I can encourage others no matter how much I am struggling. I do have the power to change things.

So I hope on your worst day you can reach deep inside and find a way to push past the pain, loneness and discouragement to live your life again. Because in spite of all the bad and painful things in this life, it can still be beautiful. And we can advocate for chronic illness, mental health or whatever it is you might be facing and make a difference for others and for our future selves.

The world is still beautiful, and it’s just a much happier way to live.

Be honest, Be real, Be you

Bobbie De Leon