Love and Birthday Month

I cannot believe it is already the second month of twenty-twenty six, as well as my birthday month. I have hated my birthday most of my life, even as a kid and especially as a teen. This year I was just thankful to still be here. This year was one of the best birthdays I ever remember having.

I didn’t go anywhere special or do much of anything. I’m still battling through various medical issues, but I just enjoyed the moments. I received some gorgeous and very sweet gifts, unexpected gifts, and well wishes. It was peaceful and happy. I couldn’t have cake, but I got six different flavors of healthy macaroons which were incredible.

I’ve felt so thankful lately for every day, every moment because there have been a lot of super hard and very scary times in there. But I’m still here, still breathing, still trying, still loving, still finding ways to be thankful, kind, to grow, to learn and to bring good things to the small part of the world I’m in.

Life, especially the news and social media part of it. It tends to show us the worst parts of life or the cookie-cutter, candy-coated best parts of it. The reality of life is in-between those two. Life is hard, messy, painful, joyful, full of tears, laughter, fears and courage. But even in the messiest parts there is beauty, and that is the part that I have to lean into.

I will, over the next couple of months, be sharing something I’ve been working on about my journey with writing (doing anything really) while navigating debilitating chronic illness, which has been a challenge and a half.

The reality for me, and parts I don’t like to share, is that I have days when being productive is just not happening. I have days where I cannot walk without aids or help from someone. Days I cannot get off the couch and days it takes everything I have in me to keep pushing forward. But I also have days full of hope, grace, immense love, faith, strength beyond what I can explain, and accomplishment. Days where I do very well with all of it. There are days where I’ve been in hospital or ER and not known what is happening. Days of blacking out for no reason and vitals being so chaotic it’s legitimately scary. And that’s just part of it. I don’t like to share it because I don’t like to re-live it, but without sharing the hard parts, the best parts don’t mean the same.

I will share the hard parts and what I’ve used and done to navigate those challenges. How I find my way back to hope and light when it doesn’t feel so hopeful or light. I hope that what I’ve learned on this journey, what I’m still learning, might be a map to help someone else navigate to the best path for them. I look forward to talking with you all soon.

It might have taken me longer to get it all done than it should have but, instead of focusing on that, I'm just going to be proud I got it done.

Be honest, Be Real, Be you

Bobbie De Leon